Thanks for Reading, Folks!

Thanks for Reading, Folks!

To whom it may concern. Thanks to everyone I’ve met. It’s been a real pleasure getting to know, and inevitably offend, most of you. Hit me up if you’re ever in Australia. Worst case is I ignore your message. Deal with it. Thanks to the fans. Good on you – all four of you. You’re …

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They Say Sing While You Slave…

They Say Sing While You Slave…

What cries, loves tits, and painfully emerges after spending nine months cocooned from reality? Here’s a hint: the first part of my journey is over. Beaten, dishevelled, and penniless – I’m going home. So, at risk of starvation, I’m headed back to Maggies Farm for a while… But first with the good news… Best scenery? …

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The Bottom Line

The Bottom Line

Pop quiz. Pencils out. If the total cost of my trip was $19,996, and I’ve been away for 239 days, then, to the nearest dollar, what was my average all-in cost per day? Was it: (a)    Negative $413 per day (b)    $126,665 per day (c)     $83 per day, or (d)    A unicorn If you answered ‘(c) …

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Travel Insurance is Money for Nothing

Travel Insurance is Money for Nothing

Ok, so I signed up for Travel Insurance online. It was $400. No biggie. It’s not like I’m in Dire Straits… After that, they called. There was a phone interview to discuss my application. When we got to the bit about family history the sales rep asked: “So, how did your grandfather die?” In his sleep, …

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Don’t Eat a Sober Kebab: Lessons from a Month in Turkey

Don’t Eat a Sober Kebab: Lessons from a Month in Turkey

I used to like kebabs. That was, of course, until I ate one sober. And fuck me! Turns out they’re not so great – just like Turkey. The highlights… Ok, I’m not usually an indoors cat, but I did enjoy Istanbul. There’s enough history there to justify a few days in town. And it sure …

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Dardanelles – The Final Leg

Dardanelles – The Final Leg

My month in Turkey is nearly complete. There’s not much left to do – just head up through the Dardanelles and find one last Turkey pun… First it was Pergamum and another set of ruins. Nothing stands out. The highlight was a chat with some locals. At first it was pleasant, but I’d played this …

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A Support Group for Mundane Places

A Support Group for Mundane Places

Ok, you bunch of mundane destinations. Quit whimpering. We’ve got a new member joining our support group today. Please give a big support group welcome to South West Turkey. Why don’t you stand up and tell us something about yourself? Sure. Here goes. Kas is at the southern tip of Turkey. People come here to …

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Karaoke Tips in Central Turkey

Karaoke Tips in Central Turkey

I’m in central Turkey. And, like a drunk at karaoke, I’ve been making it up as I go. I don’t know the words. I’m literally dying up here. A hack. An embarrassment. But, fuck it, queue up another track, one more for good luck… My first stop was Konya. I went there not looking for …

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Cappadocia and My Bucket List

Cappadocia and My Bucket List

Hands up who’s got a bucket list? You know – a list of things you’d like to do before you get married, buy a mortgage, and effectively die. Ok, so there’s a few of you. Well, listen up, coz I’ve got some good news… I’m in Cappadocia, where the big drawcard is the scenery. Central …

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Ankara – Not a Turkish Delight

Ankara – Not a Turkish Delight

Go to Ankara they said. It’ll be grand they said. Actually, no, that’s a lie. That’s exactly not what they said. And, for once, they were right. Ankara is the capital of Turkey. Remember that, it could come up at trivia one day. That’s about all you need to know about the place. The locals …

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