Back, Sack, and Travel Hacks

Back, Sack, and Travel Hacks

[Judgey John Lennon voice] And so this is Christmas, and what have you done?

[Derisive Evan voice] Well, John, I haven’t written any so-called “songs”, but I’ve done a bit of travel. And here are some tips…

MapsMe. My travel is divided into two distinct periods – the Dark ages before MapsMe, and the Enlightenment after it. This app lets you download detailed maps and use them offline. And, best of all, it’s free! Smell ya’ later wifi. Track a journey, find a location, or add something new. Search for ‘Evan’s dignity’ in Bangkok for the last confirmed sighting.

Wiki Travel. An open-source travel guide that cuts out the crap. It has free and reliable advice from genuine travellers. TripAdvisor can suck a fuck – they sold out quicker than moustache stands at Mardi gras.

Book directly. Hostelworld has the best range and reviews. Booking.com doesn’t need a deposit. And Agoda has more cons than a greek wedding. But your best bet is to book directly at a hostel. Lock-in one night online then extend in person. Most would rather give you a discount than pay a website – especially if you promise to post a good rating.

Don’t ride a scooter. Trust me, I’m as serious as herpes. Scooters are dangerous. Not experienced enough to ride one at home – then why risk it in third-world traffic? You can’t bribe your way out of a lacerated spleen. Insurance companies get it, so best check your policy.

You’re welcome, puny humans.

Travel with friends. Ever heard of Voltron: Defender of the Universe? No? Well, the very fact that you’re still alive is thanks to him. He’s my hero. A benevolent super-robot made up of five mechanical cats. And he lives in space. The lesson here: the size of the whole exceeds the sum of the parts. So travel with nurses, multi-linguals, or folks with phone data. Try anyone with handy skills – and especially Aussie bloggers…